Thursday, May 15, 2008


Anxiety is a tough thing - and it's hard watching your four year old have so much of it. It all started Tuesday evening when our town was under a tornado warning. All of our family came out and then some friends so we could all be in the basement. It was later in the evening, so everyone was only there about an hour or so....but in that amount of time you could tell she was nervous and ended up wetting her pants twice. We were able to get her to sleep around 11:30 that night but could still tell she was 'off'. Yesterday I got a call from the sitter because Payton wasn't feeling well and her eyes kept matting shut. Her eyes had done this for a few days but I kept chalking it up to allergies (along with her cough, runny nose, sore throat, etc). I ended up taking her to the doctor and realized she had pink eye and an upper respiratory infection....nothing a good ole antibiotic won't clear up quickly. I ofcourse don't like seeing her sick, but the hardest part for me is seeing the anxiety kick in. As soon as I told her we were going to the doctor she wet her pants....then about every five minutes on the way there she was saying "I go to doctor?". And because she was nervous, I think her senses must have been on high alert because driving next to semis, Koen babbling, everything set her off. And, ofcourse her routine was off. When I pulled into the driveway after the doctor's appointment she quickly realized her dad's car was not in the garage (she always looks for it after we get home from work and if he's not home yet she does NOT do well). So, because Bob was obviously still at work she lost it. I hate it when this happens because it doesn't just involve her and I anymore, Koen is involved. He now gets afraid of her (not only does she scream really loud but she gets pretty darn violent...embarassingly enough it doesn't take long for me to get afraid of her either). It made for a very long, exhausting day but we finally got her to sleep around midnight last night. I struggle right now because I feel bad for what it does to Koen. I realize as he gets older he'll do better with it - but right now it's tough seeing both Payton and Koen during her meltdowns.


Laura said...

I understand what you are going through. Jeno and Angelo are only 16mos apart. There was plenty a day when they were younger that I had to strap both of them in thier car seats and Drivvvvve. I was in hopes that the movement of the car would calm both of them down. Angelo used to stress out about the docs and still does a little but not as much as he did between ages 4-7. He likes his girl Doctor now and nurse. (tiny crush on pretty nurse)

Julie said...

I can't imagine how much your heart must break for her. I can however relate to the fear for yourself and Koen. I think I have commented on someone elses blog before that my Amber, although she is wonderful now and I am so proud of her, was a very troubled teen. In part to her dad, in part to my being a single mom, but the biggest reason hormones. She really struggled for about 3 years and I often went to work with the marks to prove it. She does not like to talk about it and has know idea how terrified Lexi was of her. Lexi and I have talked about it and she still gets teary eyed and she is not an emotional child. They are very close now but there were rough times. It is a strain on the whole family. I will keep you guys in my prayers.

Heather said...

It is a strain on the whole family. I have one older and one younger. I know what you mean about being scared of her. I wonder sometimes about the emotional spurts that Caleb has. When he is older, what will they be like? Will he be able to control his impulses? Everyone feels like destroying something or someone here and there. It is human nature. The trick is to know that it's out of the question. We can stop and think. Caleb can't always do that. He acts before thinking. Did you get the link I showed you about the mind soothe jr.? St. Johns Wort was just proven to be as effective as celexa for treating anxiety. And it is natural and safe! I would definitely think about it if I was you. It takes about a month to take effect. It works on the same part of the brain as anti anxiety meds. Look it up :)

Every minute counts.... said...

My heart goes out to you. I know that even my older kids get scared of Abi here and there when she is in one of her "moods". Funny thing we also worked with Hunter when he was a baby...we put blankets in the dryer heat them up and then roll her in them and she will usually calm down. That or we swing until we can swing no more! It breaks your heart when your other kids are afraid of what will come with the anxiety.
Thinking of you,

Penny said...

I just hope you get some answers from the Dev pediatrician when you go. I don't have a younger one, so I can't imagine what that is like, but Keith does have an effect on Kaitlyn. I can't imagine what it would do to a little one. Poor things. It just seems like the anxiety is a constant battle for us. Bless her heart. I feel so bad about her wetting her pants. how awful must that be for her to be that upset.

Maybe you can email me offline. I want to talk to you about something else as well

Kerry said...

:( Poor Payton. I can't imgine to think what goes on in her litle mind. I hope you are able to find some ways to help her.

Amy said...

Keep strong, you guys are in my thoughts like always!

Michelle said...

I'm sorry Payton has such anxiety! That would break my heart too knowing how much things bother her, and then upsetting Koen too and not being able to help either of them. Is the anxiety something she'll be able to grow out of as she gets older?