Tonight, Bob's mom and niece are coming to visit. Payton doesn't have a clue yet because I knew if I told her she would get way too anxious about it. She is going to be ecstatic when she sees them tonight (and ofcourse so will Koen)! But, the neighbors will likely hear Payton's scream of joy as soon as she sees them.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Tonight, Bob's mom and niece are coming to visit. Payton doesn't have a clue yet because I knew if I told her she would get way too anxious about it. She is going to be ecstatic when she sees them tonight (and ofcourse so will Koen)! But, the neighbors will likely hear Payton's scream of joy as soon as she sees them.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The above picture is when the kids all got to guess how many candies were in a jar. There were about 50 or so and I just had to show you what Payton guessed. Yep - EIGHT! And then after she proudly announces eight, she yells "That's My FAAAAVorite Number!" For us, there is nothing better than seeing a number "8" on a billboard sign, on the tv, etc. It truly makes her day :)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
We were actually able to get a blood pressure on her. It was 155/111, but she was upset. The doctor said the only way to get a blood pressure would be to sedate her, and that's too much of a risk just to get her blood pressure, so he said until she starts complaining of frequent headaches we will assume it's okay. I've been having a lot of blood pressure problems lately and I thought my head was going to explode, so I really think Payton would tell me if her head was hurting that bad. For now, I'm going to try to buy a child's blood pressure cuff and practice with her at home to see if I can get some readings.
The doctor asked if she had any narrowing in her kidneys. I told him she hasn't had her kidneys checked before, so I guess we need to get that done(Noel, if you have a good doc on this one, let me know!). I felt sorry for Payton because she hates having all of those tests run, but we made it thru just fine. Now that we've got this appointment behind us, maybe I'll be able to get in the Christmas spirit :)
Friday, December 12, 2008
The other amazing thing: Payton's hair is growing. She already needs another haircut and it hasn't even been six weeks. My belief as to why......her medicine is helping her from being so darned stressed out, anxious and nervous. Before, her hair would fall out in clumps when I would comb it. Now, it doesn't and her hair is growing like crazy. For me, it's just another outward sign that she is doing better.
Koen's been fighting an ear infection for about a month now. For some reason we can't seem to get rid of it. He went back to the ENT yesterday and if he continues to have trouble, they'll just take his adenoids out. He goes to the same ENT as Payton and I just love that lady to death. She blamed it on allergies and said if we do take his adenoids out, they'll just do bloodwork at the same time so they can see what he's allergic too. Works for me! I don't know, they say there's that magic three that go together....allergies/asthma/eczema and he fits that pattern perfect. Funny, it's frustrating when they are sick like that and you just want to see them feel better, but I told Bob the tiredness I feel with Koen being sick and unable to sleep is different than the exhaustion I feel with Payton. I think it's because I know Koen will be just fine - his body is strong and can fight.....I'm just not nearly as confident in that with Payton.
Last month we took Koen to the cardiologist for a heart murmur and it was ofcourse an innocent heart murmur....he doesn't have to go back for three years (and that's only if he still has a murmur). Monday is Payton's turn. She's been such a different child lately that I'm even hoping we can get a blood pressure on her. Might as well shoot for the stars, right? :)
Tonight, Payton gets to go Christmas caroling. I can only imagine how much fun she's going to have (and how loud she's going to sing!!). Oh-and a big Happy Birthday! to Caleb and Abi. I wish Payton could be there to sing Happy Birthday to you both.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Traveling used to be awful. I know a lot of it was anxiety and I firmly believe the medication Payton takes has made her life so much easier. Like I said, the the processing of going backwards in a car was awful for her, she has since outgrown that. You know what else she's outgrown? The fear of windshield wipers. I remember when it would rain and I would need to go somewhere, I would try to figure out what to do.....it was awful hearing her scream and literally shake from the wipers being used. Passing big semis isn't really an issue anymore, either. Sure, she may say "I don't like it" every now and then because of the noise when we pass them, but she doesn't scream and cry.
Sleep. This has changed as well. For the better! Before, Payton would wake up and just scream - LOUD. She may scream for just 20 minutes or so, or she could possibly scream for 3 hours. We just never knew. What we did know: Exhaustion. Now, if she wakes up, she crawls down from the top of the bunk bed and walks into my room and quietly says my name. Now, that is just peaceful. Sure, every now and then she will wake up screaming, but generally it's because her back or legs hurt. Atleast now she can tell us what's wrong and we can help her. I've found out how important sleep is-and how important it is to take care of yourself so you can take care of your child.
Saying goodbyes. Goodbyes were awful for Payton. Maybe it was transitioning from one thing to the next, I'm not really sure, but anytime we left someone's home or someone left our home she was just devastated. It nearly got to the point where it wasn't worth going to other people's homes, she just couldn't get over it. This has changed as well! Every now and then she may have a meltdown over it, but generally we can get in the car and leave......in peace! This also feels amazing. I would love to get in her mind and see what she thinks, but maybe in the past she didn't understand that just because we were leaving didn't mean she would 'never' see them again.
Our home feels different now. It doesn't feel like the stressful, cut the air with a knife type feeling. For so long it seemed like there was constant crying, emotions, raging fits, etc that we were just living, but barely breathing. Bob and I went thru something that we never dreamed we'd have to live thru and we know we are stronger because of it (even though I feel like my life span is probably cut short :) I know along the way there were family and friends who were hurt because they simply did not understand what we were going thru, but now I feel like we are starting a brand new life. I feel like we are entering a world we haven't even been living in for five years. We're not afraid to leave the house anymore - we're excited about doing it! We're excited to see how Payton reacts to people and things - because she can handle it now. This is seriously going to be the best Christmas yet for our family.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
This weekend has kind of been a long week. I was under the impression when a child had tubes they would no longer get ear infections. Koen had been sleeping next to nil each night and he was such a fussy little man (so unusual for him), so I kept blaming it on teeth. Finally on Friday he kept grabbing his ear and just crying in pain. So, Bob and I took him to urgent care and sure enough it was an ear infection. Nice thing was, by the time we got to urgent care, tons of fluid was coming out of his ear, so I'm sure it felt good for Koen to have the pressure off. They went ahead and put him on an antibiotic to clear up his cough and congestion (and infection) but said the tubes were doing it's job, the fluid was draining. So, that was kind of good to know. And-it made me thankful that Payton hasn't had any ear infections since she's gotten her tubes.
Payton's been pretty emotional this week. Last night she was up about four hours screaming that her back hurt. I kind of struggle to understand why her body seems to ache so much. I suppose she could be using these aches to play us - just to be awake screaming. But, I'm guessing she'd rather be awake just hyper (which I can handle the hyperness much better than the screaming and crying). I don't know.....I've read that it's not unusual for individuals with ws to have joint pain and maybe that's what she is experiencing. I just had it in my head that it would come into play when she was much much older. I'm trying to remind myself daily (sometimes by the minute!) that generally the emotional episodes last about two weeks and then she'll get back to herself. Sometimes after these episodes I notice a huge developmental jump, which would be awesome!
This next week Payton and Koen are going to go to Bob's folks for an extra night/day of playing with grandparents, aunts, and cousins. Payton is ecstatic!!! I'm a little nervous. This is the first time Payton and Koen have stayed the night away from me out of town before. But, I know they will have a blast - and it's so good for them to be able to have the extra time with Bob's side of the family. We just don't get to see them very often-so the kids will eat this up. And, I'm proud of Payton because I really feel like she's able to handle it. She's really changing right before our eyes. Ofcourse Koen is too. He is talking, playing, and amazing me every day. For a while this week I wondered if he was just waking up because his brain was taking so much in during the day and he was waking up to practice all of his new words. He would sit there and just ramble thru words that he knew (most importantly choo-choo). It really is a neat thing to see.
If I don't post before Thanksgiving, I hope everyone has a wonderful time with family and friends. Happy Thanksgiving!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
You are such a blessing, Payton. I am so thankful for everything you've added to our lives. You work hard to do the smallest of things and it's so inspiring. Do you know how far you've come? Your grandma and I couldn't believe how well you did blowing out your candles on your birthday cake this year! Last year it took a while for you to blow them all out - and the drool was flying :) This year, you blew them out in two big breaths - we were so proud of you!! And - the party.....a year ago you would have been unable to handle such a big group of people. Not this year! You got right in there and danced with Chuck E Cheese. Your daddy and I fought back tears watching you have such a great time. We've waited a long time to see you so happy, Payton and it's been worth every second. We're so thankful for you, Payton. You made it! You're five years old!!!
Click here for the pics: Payton's slide show
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
This weekend the kids had the stomach flu. Payton had it on Friday night and then Koen ended up with it on Sunday. Thankfully it seemed to be a light case and only lasted about 12 hours - if even that. YAY! Other than that, our weekend went really well. I've been trying to fight back all the emotions with Payton lately. Seriously, life could be so so so much worse. It is so tough to see your child struggle though. Payton's stuttering seems to be getting worse. We try not to finish her sentences and just wait for her to try and complete her thought, but it can sometimes take minutes for her to say what she's trying to say. Her speech therapist is supposed to be getting back with me on what they are doing to work on it. It doesn't seem to bother her at all that she can't complete her thought, but I struggle with it. And I'm not even sure I should venture in the area of her behavior. The post would be forever and a day. Payton truly does know what is right and wrong, she is just so darn impulsive! I left the room for two seconds the other day just to take laundry to the laundry room - not start the washer, just take the laundry in there. Ofcourse when I left the room I told her to be nice to Koen and I would be right back. I hurried thinking she may attack Koen, but instead I came back to find a lot of missing keys from my laptop - she had decided to take them off. How she did it so quickly, I have no idea. Then on to the prolapse. I know the prolapse bothers her - I think it constantly makes her feel like she needs to go to the bathroom. So, now when she goes to the bathroom she tries to pull the prolapse out herself or poop in her hand. Mix this with frequently wetting her pants (or forgetting to pull down her pants when she goes to use the potty) and I feel like I'm in a tornado. I have to remind myself that yes, she is nearly five, but developmentally she's more like three - so I should expect this behavior. It's just exhausting, I guess. I told my mom the other day that the gap is getting bigger and after seeing my niece (who is three) sliding past her, it's just hard. Probably the hardest part for Bob and I is Payton's behavior. We almost feel like we've failed because she truly cannot control herself.......
I don't want this to be a whole vent session - because I am hearing and seeing improvements with Payton. Her teacher said she heard Payton walk up to a group of other children the other day and ask if she could play with them. I thought that was fantastic! She has also been taking major interest in the piano lately. Oddly enough it used to kill her ears - now she seems to want to play on it nonstop - and sing along while she plays. I'm loving this! And, last night she was alseep by nine. Now THAT is a blessing!
This morning I took you and your friend, Tarin, to preschool, Payton. As we pulled out of the driveway you turned around and looked at Tarin and said "Let's say bad words!" and then you just giggled! My stomach immediately dropped and I thought 'oh my word, what are you going to say'. As I was getting ready to tell you no, you said "POOOOOOP" and you both just laughed your heads off. Giggling with your friends. It really can't get any better than that, Payton :)
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
We had such a great time on Sunday. For those of you who live on the east coast and get to see Noel's family when they go to CHOP, you are in for quite a treat. Abi is so full of hugs and I love you's - I really just can't get enough of her. The kids had such a great time at the gym. They open their doors one Sunday a month for special needs kids and it was so neat seeing all of the kids running around having a great time.
It had been a couple of years since I had seen Matan. I could not believe how much he had changed - he is such a doll! The last time I saw him, his hair was full of curls, just like Payton's, but now he's got the shorter hair and looks like such a little man!
Here's the group:
Once we got done at the gym, we went to Cabela's with Noel's family. Wouldn't you know as soon as we walked out of the gym, Payton climbed into Noel's van and made herself at home. So, she got to ride over to the store with them. I can only imagine how much fun they had in that van with Payton and Abi both. They had a great time looking at all the big fish (and turtles) in the fish tank - and then all the other huge animals. The day really couldn't have gone any better. I'm so thankful all of us can get together and live just a short distance from each other. It really helps out in the tough times.
Payton's sleep has still been really wacko (and nearly non-existent). Should I just assume this is part of ws? I'm guessing it is - but I just can't fathom how a four year old can thrive on such little sleep. We give her 3 mg of melatonin at night (and then if she's gone a long time without even acting sleepy, we give her some more), but I'm just suprised that she's not a bit sleepy after 3 mg. I haven't taken any melatonin, and I'm tired :)
******Please keep my Aunt Sue in your prayers. She recently had back surgery and has been in severe pain. She ended up getting shingles on top of trying to heal from the surgery so she has been put in the nursing home for about a month so she can heal (her husband is unable to take care of her because he has dementia). We're praying she can heal quickly and get some relief on the awful pain she's in.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Time we gave Payton her second dose of Melatonin: 2:00AM
Time Payton FINALLY went to sleep: 2:30AM
Well, it's not unusual at all for Payton to get up for the day at 2:00am-3:00am.....but to not go to sleep until 2:30 in the morning, very very very unusual. And-I pray it stays that way!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Yesterday we went to my niece's volleyball game and I had told Payton we were going that morning so she would halfway know her routine for the day. Her response: "Everybody say Hi to me?" She couldn't wait to go and see people and talk their legs off.
My sister had taken Payton thru the McDonald's drive-thru the other day and she was laughing saying she could not believe Payton. Evidently when they were getting their food, Payton had rolled down her window and basically was nearly kissing the poor person at the window....yelled "HI!!!!!" and "THANKS!!!!" right in her face. She's just a little chatter box. :)
Then lastly, my mom and I had stopped at the mall to get Payton some shoes after we had the kids picture taken. Had I been by myself I would not have gone to the mall because of what Payton seems to do when we go there. We carried Payton out kicking and screaming because she wanted to stay and work with the sales lady. OK.....what? It is unfortunately not unusual at all for her to throw a fit like that at places, but because she wants to stay and work? That had not yet happened. I couldn't believe it.......
This morning I took her to preschool and I think I am daily shocked at her inability to focus. At this point, I am again thankful that we have a diagnosis with Payton because I can't imagine how I would be feeling about everything - knowing that Payton was struggling and that something was just 'different'. But - I know why.....now it's just trying to work on it. It's tough, though. I feel bad telling her fifty times a day to "focus", but unless repeatedly reminded she just can't concentrate. I think I told her ten times before I left preschool to focus and put up her backpack, but every step she took, something sidetracked her (when I left to go to work she still hadn't put up her backpack). I'm sure before long she will start telling me to focus - I've noticed recently she's told me and our cat to "just relax" or "be patient". I was proud of her for saying those words and using them - I just wish she could put them into practice :)
Monday, October 13, 2008
Preschool is still going well. We haven't had an IEP meeting yet, but I'm still just sitting back and relaxing on it. I feel like all we've done with Payton is work, work, work. I want her to have fun - be a kid. It seems she's really trying to enjoy life (this medicine has truly worked wonders for her) and right now, I'm just trying to enjoy it. We can work after I can soak all of her joy in :)
This weekend: Williams Syndrome get together. Can't wait.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
After I watched her so delicately hit each step and slowly make it down the stairs and turn the corner, I ran down after her to go find Bob and tell him what she'd just done. YAY Payton :)
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
NOW: She tells us it's too loud. She asks to leave or says "we get outta here". She doesn't scream or cry anymore. Sure, she may whimper and that's my que, but it's not nearly the fits she would previously throw.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Next it was off to the ENT. She worked the waiting room like she usually does - greeting everyone and finding out everyone's names and then they called us back. With the help of my hand and the nurse's she stood on the scale (very cautiously), we got her weight and off we went to the room. The nurse asked if she could take Payton's temperature in her ear and Payton said "SURE!", so that was a piece of cake. Payton asked what her name was and she said "Desiree". Payton responded with "Hi Desiree!" and the nurse just talked and talked with her. As the nurse was leaving Payton yelled "Bye Desiree!" and the nurse smiled and stuck her head back in the door and said "you know, she is one of our favorites". Ahh, even though they probably say that to all of their patient's moms it still made my heart melt.
When Dr. Walker walked in she couldn't believe how tall Payton had gotten. Payton immediately started asking Dr. Walker what she was doing, what she had and started trying to grab all of her equipment. Dr. Walker laughed and said "my, someone has gotten bolder!" She couldn't believe it was the same Payton she saw six months ago - how well she was talking, how much she'd grown, etc. Her tubes were still in (one ear she couldn't see for sure because of the blood and wax but she was pretty sure it was still in there). She's always called Payton the Queen of the Bloody Ears. I've always guessed it's because she loves to stick things in them (and in her nose!). But, her ears looked great :)
Once again on the way home she rolled her window down to wave and yell hi to everyone as we passed. I love seeing Payton this way - happy. And I think she even made some other people happy because they sure did smile when she waved as we passed.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Payton's still doing fantastic. This evening we took her to a suprise birthday party for one of my friends. We usually are very 'choosy' on parties that we attend because we know what Payton does to people's homes (hehehehe). The party was at my friend's parents house and Bob and I are crazy about them. Payton did her usual 'find the games/boxes and empty them all out' and took every toy off the shelf down and pretty much destroyed the playroom while the other kids all played together. But - she had a ball and we just picked it all up before we left. She was full of "what's your name?" to everyone and could not wait to yell "SUPRISE" when she walked in the door. I love seeing her this way - she's happy and settled. I can handle the hyperactivity, the going nonstop with no direction, etc the hardest part for me is the anxiety and meltdowns and the past few days she seems to have settled in and is not experiencing it nearly as much. I was questioning whether the medication was working any longer, but now I realize it's still working she was just needing to adjust to going to preschool. She still tells me she doesn't like preschool, but she's sleeping better, so I feel better about it.
Koen.....he inspires me. He loved watching the 'big' kids play tonight and even tried to get in there and join them. He acted like he owned the place and wouldn't slow down enough to eat a single bite - I loved it! He really thinks he's a big boy and oddly enough he is capable of being worn down and goes to sleep quickly at night and requires sleep! (I don't know why I find this amazing, but after having Payton I really thought every child must not require much sleep) :) He still amazes me at every turn - I feel like I'm witnessing a miracle every second of the day.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I keep trying to ask her different questions to see if she's made any friends while at school but so far the only child's name she mentions is Tarin. Then, she ofcourse names her teachers as her friends. So when I was talking to her about it yesterday I said "So, the teachers are your friends too?" Her response....."No, their SNAKES!" I have no idea where that came from or why in the world she would call them snakes, but she did :)
I get tickled at Payton because she can give me bits of things that happened throughout the day, but I really have to try and put the pieces together to figure out what may have happened. I say 'may' have happened because a lot of times she just makes things up (for instance, last night she told me her daddy pushed her off of her bike......and I know that didn't happen :). I've also found that if I ask the same question ten times, but use different wording, I might finally end up with an answer. She told me that Shawna (her aide) told her "No!" and that it hurt her ears and she cried (cried like a baby is what she told me :). After about ten to fifteen minutes I finally came to the conclusion that she was coloring on the floor. NOT a suprise to me at all! I reminded her again that we are only supposed to write on the paper - but one reason we do not keep pens, crayons, etc anywhere within her reach is because even though she knows better she will still grab them and write on everything.....walls, furniture, floor, etc. I do wonder when she will start using these things appropriately. She works on using crayons and pencils (holding them correctly) but she really has no interest whatsoever in drawing. I also wonder about scissors - her hands still seem awkward when trying to use them. They work a lot with her on it in OT, but something that seems so easy really is difficult for her hands to figure out. She'll get it figured out though, I expect it to be quite a while before she does well with or can even use scissors.
The only 'not so happy' thing yesterday was we discovered Payton is prolapsing again. It's only been a year since they fixed it last time......and I'm guessing low muscle tone is really the cause of it all. For now, we're just going to do fiber fiber fiber and just kind of wait and see before we call the specialist. She's had a lot going on the past month or so, so maybe we can kind of take care of this on our own.
Anyways, just had to share my news that Payton is getting back to herself - sleep is not there yet, but she'll get there shortly I would say. Too bad school doesn't 'exhaust' her :)
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Here's some pics of the kids
You know, Payton couldn't do the things the other kids were doing (climbing up the slides by herself, etc -there were some she could, but not many)....but she had fun. As long as someone was holding her going down the slides, she did great! She really did have a fantastic time.....and did not want to leave :) Now, Koen, he LOVED going down the slides -preferrably by himself and most enjoyed going down on his stomach, backwards. Needless to say, I think we'll be making a trip back there soon.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Once we go inside her classroom, I ask Mrs. Miller if she is doing okay during the day. Mrs. Miller said "yes, actually, she's doing very well. we're not having any problems". I told her that was great, but I was just concerned because Payton is complaining of her tummy hurting a lot and that she doesn't want to come to school. She said it's going smooth at school and then up walks Payton to Mrs. Miller. She said "We go outside today?" and Mrs. Miller said "No, we can't today because it's raining". Well, knowing how Payton thinks, I knew she didn't ask that question because she wanted to go outside, she asked because she didn't want to hear the whistle (it's only blown when it's time to come in from playing outside). So, I left knowing that today Payton would not have to deal with the whistle.....althought still feeling like I hadn't gotten my point across that she is struggling with the whistle and can't quite get past it.
Three hours later, Bob goes to pick up Payton from preschool. The teacher explained to Bob that Payton was having trouble understanding why they couldn't go outside today because of the rain (basically Payton asked 10,000 times if they were going outside today). The assistant teacher happened to walk by as Mrs. Miller was telling Bob this (her name is Miss Christy and she taught Payton at the learning center when she went there) and she told Mrs. Miller "well, no, actually, she was concerned about the whistle and was just repeatedly asking about going outside because she didn't want to hear the whistle". SHE GOT IT!!! That's exactly right! So, there is hope. I know this little bump will be worked out, but it's hard seeing Payton so stressed out and obsessed over the whistle. Poor thing she's so stressed out for a little four year old :(
And the most amazing part of all - yes, she is mentally retarded....but in her own smart little way she knew if they didn't go outside, she would not have to hear that whistle. The only part I hate about it is that she couldn't take the first 'no, we can't go outside because it's raining' and be calm the rest of the day knowing they weren't going out. Instead, she was still anxious over it and had to repeatedly ask. Oh, Payton, how I pray your little insides can just be calm for a while and not get so anxious.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Saturday we couldn't have asked for the move to go any smoother. We had everything loaded in the trailers and trucks by 8:30am and my sisters and I worked on cleaning. I think by 2pm both parties had gotten moved into each other's homes and we were set. I had my mom bring Payton in around noon or so, but within a couple of hours she was already WAY overstimulated, so Bob just took her up to our room and spent some one-on-one quiet time with her until she was able to calm down. It helped, but she really has been emotional all weekend.
Koen seems to be enjoying the new house, digging everything out of cabinets and inspecting everything - like I would expect him to :) He's just gotta make sure he knows where everything is! I already feel like a big load is lifted off my shoulders. The house is smaller, the yard is smaller, no pool to clean, etc. I just feel 'lighter'. It's funny how you look at things......I needed things to be more simple because I have a daughter who requires so much of our time (and strength). I'd give up everything I own to see my daughter not have to walk this road. I really do hate what williams syndrome does to their bodies. I've listened to my daughter complain of nonstop tummy aches (it's nerves), wake up in the night shaking with her fingers in her ears because she's dreaming of a noise that's not even occurring at the time, and then this weekend I watched her run up to a car that had stopped to welcome us to the neighborhood and she tried to get in the driver's side door and the passenger side door. Ugh, teaching stranger anxiety is tough. I took Payton to preschool this morning after her long weekend away from it. She was still talking about the whistle, saying her tummy hurt, and she wanted to go home. Isn't it funny, I really think part of us thought when we moved to a new house things would be different (okay, not really, but we can dream, right?). I really really really just want her to be happy.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
As you all know, preschool started Monday for Payton. She always loves being around other children and I think she really does enjoy it. With that being said, our evenings this week have been tough. Payton was reverting back to her outbursts, tantrums, wetting her pants, etc but Bob and I thought it may just be because of everything going on (the fair, preschool, getting ready to move). She's definitely had some bumps in her routine so this is how she's dealing with it. Last night (as she did the other two evenings) she was constantly telling me her stomach hurt, was telling me she didn't want to go to school, and wouldn't sleep. It's tough because she still is not the best communicator, but I really was trying to get out of her why she didn't want to go to school. Finally she said something about a whistle, put her hand to hear mouth and made a 'whistle' noise. I couldn't believe we narrowed it down from 'noises' (like she first told me) all the way down to a whistle! I told her we'd go in a bit early this morning and talk to Mrs. Miller about the whistle.
This morning on the way in I asked Payton what she was going to talk to Mrs. Miller about. She ofcourse said "the whistle". I wasn't suprised she remembered because my lands the child talked about it all night long :) When we got there Mrs. Miller said "Good Morning, Payton!" and gave her a hug (like she does with all the children) and then Payton said "talk about the whistle". Mrs. Miller held out her arm and sure enough she had a whistle on a bracelet on her arm. Mrs. Miller said "yes, I use the whistle outside when it's time to come in for snacks". Payton just kind of looked at her, so I tried to finish it up there. It was chaotic and I felt like I didn't have time to really get my point across, but Mrs. Miller told Payton she would stand far away from her when she blew it. Payton was her usual self and smiled huge and said "OKAY!". I wasn't comfortable with the answer, feeling that even though she was far away, Payton would still focus on it all night. I, myself, was still nervous about it and then as I left the intercom went off paging for one of the teachers. I didn't dare turn around and look at Payton's face when it went off because I knew I would be brought to tears. In my mind, I can picture her hands going to her ears and the frightened look on her face.
Once I got to work I decided I'd give her aid a call. She was ofcourse very nice about it and then Mrs. Miller wanted to talk with me. I explained to Mrs. Miller that I didn't have a chance earlier to explain that Payton is making herself sick over the whistle - up late at night, up by 4am worried about it, and basically venting it out on us at home - and that I was concerned that blowing it when she's far away from Payton is probably not going to be enough. She said she always tells Payton before she blows it to give her advance notice that it's coming and the day before Payton told her not to do it. She said she explained to Payton that she had to blow it because it was time for everyone to come in for snacks. Payton ofcourse said "OKAY!" and went along with it because that's her nature. In a strange way she is a people pleaser and really does WANT to do what the other children are doing. The teacher asked if I was aware of anything else bothering her and I told her Payton just kept saying "noises" and then finally said "whistle" so I think the whistle is it. Thankfully, she said they wanted to do whatever would make Payton comfortable and help her want to come to school. Thank you God for a teacher that cares.
So, this morning my heart is aching because we're just a few days in school and already noises are getting to her. She'll ofcourse adjust to many of them, but I hate it because I still don't think people realize how bad it hurts her. How do you explain to people that you might as well just slap her across the face because it hurts that bad to her (actually probably even worse than that)? The mother in me ofcourse wants to protect her and it brings me to tears just thinking about it. But yet I'm also cheering her on because she communicated to me what was bothering her (that's huge)!!!!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I think Payton had a good day at school yesterday. It was her first day and she was definitely still taking it all in last night. She just kinda spaced off....wet her pants on the way home, sat in the high chair (for some reason it really relaxes her to either sit in her car seat or sit in the high chair), wet her pants again and then seemed to snap out of it around 8pm and get back to herself. It was just all new to her and she was really processing it I think. When I took her this morning she was ready to go and excited to see her teacher. She really enjoys being around all of the kids.
Payton and Koen both seem to be feeling better from the bug they caught (Payton only had it for two days, so that was good). So far Bob and I have avoided it somehow. Next on the list: moving this weekend. I'm so glad it's a three day weekend!
Monday, August 25, 2008
This past week was our town's fair. Koen had ran a fever for about a week, so we kept him home and took turns taking Payton. Again, she was a different child. Everyone she saw that spoke to her got a hug....and sometimes even an "I love you" or a kiss on the cheek. There were noises that bothered her, but she covered her ears, gave a startled expression but was able to cope. She loved the kiddie rides, but her favorites were the big kid rides :) My sister and I had taken our two girls together and we agreed that keeping up with Payton is exhausting. I'm amazed how she just walks off with no purpose in mind. She has no idea where she's going, really has no place in mind she wants to go, she just wants to wander - and has fun doing it! The most frightening was when we were on the ferris wheel (it's the kind that seats four and you face each other). We're sitting at the top and Payton decides she's ready to go - she gets up and just tries to walk out - absolutely oblivious to the fact that she's going to fall a long way. Thankfully Sara grabbed her - but we both feel ill anytime we think about it. She is just kind of in her own world doing her own thing :)
The only thing difficult with the fair is I'm realizing that now that Payton is older, people are going to start giving her the 'look'. You know, as your child is a toddler, the things they do are seen as cute, but as they get older it's not so 'cute' anymore. Payton loves riding the little cars that go around and around - and I really think she believes she is driving them. She smiles from ear to ear and gets really dramatic about it; screaming "THIS IS FUN!!!" Other parents were looking at her strangely, giving her an almost "oh my gosh" look and it's hard to start seeing it. I know this is just part of it, but I don't find myself ready for it. Although the first five years of her live have been extremely difficult, I find myself wishing she could stay young forever. However, one little person at the fair must've sensed Payton was special. Payton wasn't too sure about him, but he gave her a big ole hug:
Anyways, I'm so proud of Payton and how she's doing. Here's some pics of her at the fair: