Thursday, May 22, 2008
It's so hard to say Goodbye.....
I don't think I can find a better picture than this. This is Payton with her great-grandma Betty....taken on Mother's Day.
The past week or so has been pretty rough. I'm not sure if this is typical ws behavior or not, but Payton has a terrible time with goodbyes. And when I say tough time with goodbyes, I'm meaning drop to the floor, kick, scream, throw things, break things, bite, hit (you get the picture) for 30-45 minutes. This can be either when someone leaves our home or we leave someone else's home. It's making life extremely difficult and it really does exhaust her (and the rest of us in the immediate family). Part of me feels sorry for her in the fact that she seems completely unable to control her emotions - but the other half of me realizes that this behavior is completely unacceptable and we need to get her to the point where she no longer does this. But, when she gets mad - whew - the rage is on. My sister and I were laughing last night because my 2 yr old niece can even see it in Payton's eyes when she gets on the verge of getting angry....she runs from her. Now, I realize it's not funny at all...she really could actually hurt someone. I have several bite marks and bruises from her episode yesterday. It seems heartbreaking for her when she is left behind or has to leave. And, hearing her scream "Don't leave me!" is enough to bring me to tears. Even after giving Payton several notices that she's going to have to leave she still gets extremely upset.
Our little angel can go from a sweet little princess to a raging monster at the drop of a hat. Yesterday Bob picked her up from Dawn's and was bringing her home. He drove past a gas station and Payton evidently thought she saw my or her gma's vehicle (she was so upset Bob couldn't even understand who's car she thought she saw). There's ofcourse no reasoning with her - and you can try til your blue in the face to tell her mommy is at home, it wasn't mommy's car, etc - she's already shaking the car with her anger and screaming at the top of her lungs. When they pulled in the garage I could already hear Payton screaming. Bob was trying to get ahold of her (she was too busy thrashing around, kicking screaming) and there sits my little man Koen in his seat just watching Dora and ignoring the entire situation (Thank you, God, for such an easy going little boy).
Unfortunately, the week has brought us down and we are hoping and praying for a peaceful weekend. I keep telling myself this is going to get better - and please tell me it will. Will she get to the point of understanding what I'm telling her? Will she get to the point she is able to control her emotions - or be calmed down? It's not that we feel like our life has been taken away....but it would be wonderful to feel like we could actually go and do things, travel, get out of routine, be with people for a few hours and actually be able to say 'goodbye' and not have a huge tantrum come out of it.