Monday, August 25, 2008

Sense of Special


I am still seeing a profound difference in Payton. It's actually unbelievable to me. She still gets nervous and anxious (she got up at 4am today - first day of school....took two baths and continually said her tummy hurt) BUT her way of handling it is different. I guess I should say she is able to cope. Instead of screaming at the top of her lungs nonstop and having very low 'lows' she is actually coping with situations. Even her 'routines' of things are changing. For instance, before going to bed at night certain doors in our house had to be shut - she wouldn't go to sleep until these certain doors were closed. It sounds minor, but some things had to be 'just so' or we were going to be looking at a good one hour fit. Our lives have changed and I'm thankful for that for our family and most importantly for Payton.

This past week was our town's fair. Koen had ran a fever for about a week, so we kept him home and took turns taking Payton. Again, she was a different child. Everyone she saw that spoke to her got a hug....and sometimes even an "I love you" or a kiss on the cheek. There were noises that bothered her, but she covered her ears, gave a startled expression but was able to cope. She loved the kiddie rides, but her favorites were the big kid rides :) My sister and I had taken our two girls together and we agreed that keeping up with Payton is exhausting. I'm amazed how she just walks off with no purpose in mind. She has no idea where she's going, really has no place in mind she wants to go, she just wants to wander - and has fun doing it! The most frightening was when we were on the ferris wheel (it's the kind that seats four and you face each other). We're sitting at the top and Payton decides she's ready to go - she gets up and just tries to walk out - absolutely oblivious to the fact that she's going to fall a long way. Thankfully Sara grabbed her - but we both feel ill anytime we think about it. She is just kind of in her own world doing her own thing :)

The only thing difficult with the fair is I'm realizing that now that Payton is older, people are going to start giving her the 'look'. You know, as your child is a toddler, the things they do are seen as cute, but as they get older it's not so 'cute' anymore. Payton loves riding the little cars that go around and around - and I really think she believes she is driving them. She smiles from ear to ear and gets really dramatic about it; screaming "THIS IS FUN!!!" Other parents were looking at her strangely, giving her an almost "oh my gosh" look and it's hard to start seeing it. I know this is just part of it, but I don't find myself ready for it. Although the first five years of her live have been extremely difficult, I find myself wishing she could stay young forever. However, one little person at the fair must've sensed Payton was special. Payton wasn't too sure about him, but he gave her a big ole hug:

Anyways, I'm so proud of Payton and how she's doing. Here's some pics of her at the fair:



9 comments:

Heather said...

Wowee Wow! She really looks happy Tara! Oh boy does she remind me so much of Caleb. I know there is quite an age difference, but wouldn't it be fun to see them interacting? Maybe Caleb would get a taste of his own medicine :)
Hope Koen feels better. xoxo

Every minute counts.... said...

I love the new pictures. I agree with you, you kind of wish they could stay young forever.

Noel

Julie said...

Oh Tara it is so nice to hear that she is doing so well. It brings tears to my eyes, knowing how much you all have struggled for so long, now you finally have peace. I don't think any of us are ever going to be ready for people noticing a difference in our kids. Hopefully it does get easier though because we have a long road ahead. Noah wanders like that too. It is so scary.

Amy said...

It sounds like Payton is finally able to enjoy being a kid. That is so wonderful for all of you!! What a cutie pie. And Koen, my gosh, he is such a big boy now!
xoxo
Amy

Katie said...

Oh Tara i am so happy to hear that Payton is doing so well, it is such a relief :)
Jaiden was the same, un handleable one day and then suddenly became an angel, yep the quirks are there and as you said the "cute" things arnt so cute to the outside world as they get older. I love that grin on Paytons face in the little car! Jaiden LOVES those cars too.
Koen is suddenly seeming so big!give your babies a hug for me.
xxoo

Michelle said...

Her smile says it all! Look how happy she is! I'm glad things seem to be calmer for her, and she's better able to cope with situations now.

She sounds just like Kayla with the wandering! It's so hard just going out running errands, going in a store...as soon as we go in she just takes off walking not caring where she's going either. No sense of purpose, and doesn't care if I'm with her either.

I also haven't let her ride any rides at the fair by herself because I'm afraid Kayla would do the same thing - once she felt like she was done she would probably just try to get out of the ride with no sense of the danger!

The Pitchforths said...

I am so excited to find so many connections with Williams Syndrome. We live in small town Utah, and have never met another child with Williams Syndrome. I want to add a Williams Syndrome link to my blog and keep in touch with all you bloggers!!!! I cannot express my excitement! My husband is a school teacher and I work full-time as a Registered Nurse. Leave a comment on my blog so I know you received this!!! I look forward to keeping in touch!

Penny said...

I love the pics and OMG, Koen is geting soooo big!

Laura said...

Love seeing her look SO happy!