Ahhh, Nebulizers

Yesterday I took both kiddos to the doctor because of the regular ole cold/cough flu junk. I usually don't attempt to take both children at the same time by myself because of fear of something setting Payton off and not being able to help her calm down. My dad offered to go with me but I told him it was about time I tried to do it myself and I was really looking forward to spending the afternoon with my children - even though it was for doctor appointments.
Koen's appointment was first. The waiting room was packed and Payton made her way around the room quickly chatting with everyone. Even yelling to everyone "That's my mom!". The nurse called us back pretty quickly and Payton started saying "almost done, almost done" over and over. I reminded her the doctor was going to check Koen and she could sit on the blue chair until he was done. The doctor came in and listened to Koen breathing and said he would need some steroids and would like to do a breathing treatment to see how he sounded afterwards. As soon as she said that I thought 'oh man, why didn't I bring someone with me?". The doctor went and got the nurse and here came the nurse carrying the dreaded nebulizer. Payton immediately started screaming standing by the door - shaking. I asked the nurse if she could do the treatment and I could stand outside the door with Payton.....before the nurse had time to answer me the doctor came running in the room and Payton jumped in her arms. Let me tell you, I really liked this doctor before - but now I LOVE her. She took Payton out to the nurse's station and colored with her until the breathing treatment was over and the nebulizer was taken out of the room. Payton wouldn't come back in the room with us, but she atleast stood outside the door and watched as the doctor listened to Koen one more time, wrote us the prescriptions and then we were on our way.

Next we were off to Payton's appointment. She made a new best friend in the waiting room (a gentleman who was suprisingly very open to her friendliness). She brought a smile to his face and I enjoyed watching her try to strike up a conversation with him. Soon, they called her name and you could see her thinking "great, here we go". She hates stepping on a scale. She's worried it will make noise and really, she doesn't like standing on it. She's real timid and is worried about falling off of it. The nurse was quick to remind her she wouldn't let her fall and we got a quick weight and headed off to the room. The nurse was really good to her, as was the doctor. We got the usual "what's williams syndrome" and "do you realize she has quite a heart murmur" questions and soon we had the prescription in our hand (no breathing treatments for her thank God!) and were out the door. Funny thing about Payton is that she hates going to the doctor....but she hates leaving too. I usually have to drag her out kicking and screaming because she really enjoys seeing the people and would rather stay and watch or talk to them.

Honestly, I can't believe how good the afternoon went. Besides the nebulizer incident (which now I can look back on and think 'no big deal' but at the time felt extremely sorry for Payton that I couldn't get her out of the situation quicker). I feel like we are turning a corner. I almost felt like a regular ole mom taking my two children to the doctor...yet there was still a part of me listening to the sounds and watching the people around me trying to keep things from setting Payton off. Why do I have my mind trained to try and protect her from every little thing? Just like the doctor saying to adjust the environment for her....I can't! Just like the nebulizer - I can't keep Payton from the noise. Slowly but surely I'm starting to get the picture....it's just taking me a long long time.

Once we got home she continually asked me if Koen had to have his medicine. And, she even carried it around for a while showing us the machine....asking if she could throw it away. :) It unfortunately gave her a rough night of sleep...she repeatedly woke up screaming "Koen's medicine all done". Hmmmm...I wonder if the geneticist would've spent the evening/night with us last night if she would've thought Payton struggles with anxiety.