Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Bob and I were able to have a night out this past weekend. Our anniversary was back at the beginning of May and we hadn't gone out to celebrate, so it was nice to be able to do that this past weekend. My parents kept the kids and I really appreciated the good night's sleep. My dad was up with Payton rocking from about 1am to 4am (thanks, Dad!) while my Mom tried to keep Koen settled in between Payton's cries. Trust me, that girl does not hurt for lungs! :) Although I hate that they were up with her so much in the night, it is reassuring to me that she doesn't just 'not sleep' for us. The fact is, that girl can run off of nothing!

Bob and I don't ever really get to talk that much so it was nice to actually visit for a change. Every parent knows how that feels! But it was nice to know that Bob is actually sharing some of the same concerns about Payton that I am. She has been having a lot of trouble with wetting her pants. This has been going on for quite some time now - months (at first I thought it was just a phase) but it's now to the point it's happening about 2-3 times a day. Because she was fully potty trained during the day (not at night yet), it is concerning to me. Match that with her ever-increasing toe walking and her more frequent falls (I'm sure the falls are just related to the visuo-spatial definicencies) it's just difficult to see. I'm realizing that thru this journey of williams syndrome we will more than likely question every little thing that happens with Payton....it is this, or is it this, what set her off, etc. Obviously, I don't question anything with Koen, I don't seem to have to. I imagine much of the different behavior we are seeing in her - even wetting her pants - is anxiety related (which we are hoping to get taken care of with the developmental pediatrician at the beginning of July). The hard part is parenting it. The behavior we see her doing is wrong-and we do discipline her for it; wetting her pants is something she knows better than doing and I don't feel like she is deliberately doing it. When it first began happening, we would discipline her for it, but now I'm not so sure she can help it. Yesterday at the sitter's she wet her pants.....she was just sitting in the chair and there she went. The sitter ofcourse got onto her, but part of me almost feels bad for getting onto her for it. I learned early-on to go with my gut and my gut is telling me she really is not doing this deliberately. She's not angry or upset when the accidents happen. Bob wonders if it's from the anxiety of things that happened earlier in the day even though she doesn't seem anxious at the time. I guess we'll get more answers in July and see what the developmental pediatrician says. I really hope the doc is a good one and listens to our concerns.

Through all of this, though, Payton makes every step worth it. She is such a blessing. I don't know too many people that will wake you up at 5am just to tell you they miss you. Then she politely asked "Lay by me please". Who could resist that?


Julie said...

She is just precious. I am glad you got some time by yourselves. We too rarely get to do that.

Penny said...

I am so glad to hear that you have a partner in this.

As far as wetting her pants, I absolutely believe this is anxiety. I so much wish we were closer so you could see Keith and we could "experience" each other's children. I feel like you would feel so much different if you could meet Keith. It's hard to explain, but when I met my first mom with a child with WS and major anxiety, it helped me so much to understand the difference between behavior and anxiety. I have come to learn that with Keith's anxiety he relates things to other things. For example....my aunt Patty is here now and she was sitting with him outside on my back porch and he saw the neighbor's dog, CoCo, who he loves. Now, he constantly relates Patty to CoCo. He see's Patty every day now as she is here for the summer, but he still says, "CoCo", when he ses he in the morning and if she comes in from the other room.

I guess what I am trying to say is that the anxiety is always there, it may not make sense to you or to the situation immediately at hand, but they relate things and fixate and get anxious about so many different things and it's like constantly trying to puta puzze together and someone is constantly changing and adding pieces.

I so hope you get answers and I hope that your appointment brings you peace with whatever direction you go in with Payton.

Remember, if you ever need to talk....

Michelle said...

So glad you and Bob had a chance to reconnect. It is just so important! It's vital! I hope you get a chance to do it more and more!

Every minute counts.... said...

Happy ( late) anniversary! I am so glad that you and Bob got to spend some time together. That is something Chris and I haven't done for awhile.
I do think that the dev ped will listen to you.He is a very nice man. Just make sure you have a list ready of stuff you want to talk about, I always forget things that I wanted to ask. I have been doing more lists. He may send you to some other drs though:( so I would expect that to come with his recommendations, unfortunely. But then again, if any drs visits come with answers that make life just a little easier to handle than that's a good thing.


jbgrinch said...

my daughter while not a WS child has anxiety issues from adoption. one of her teachers began asking her to go to the bathroom even if she didnt need to this seemed to help with fewer accidents. I dont know if that will help but it is worth a try.

good luck and god bless

Heather said...

Tara, she is so sweet. I don't know if this helps at all, but it seems to me that Caleb can't or doesn't know how to hold it. He had a few accidents after he was done being trained too. I notice that if we are in a situation which requires him to hold it, he can't. He gets all beside himself. He used to get up 5 or 6 times a night to go. He goes at least every half hour during the day. It may just be that she is holding it unconsciously(sp?) for a while and doesn't realize what is happening until its too late. Caleb would have accidents when he was eating, playing, or really absorbed in some type of activity. Even if it was just socializing, because he didn't want to leave his public. ??? Also, people with WS do have smaller bladder capacity. keep that in mind. Also, Cale toe walks while he is going through a growth spurt, or if he is barefoot.

Tara said...

Thanks for the info Heather. We do notice Payton has to go a lot - there's times it seems she'll go three time within 30 minutes. But - every half hour seems about right for Payton too! I wonder now if Payton is going thru a growth spurt and that's the reason for her toe walking. It's a good possibility. And, thanks for letting me know Caleb has trouble holding it. When we get in the car and know we're going to be in it longer than 10 minutes we usually put Payton in a diaper because she can't hold it - she always has an accident. That may be much of the problem with Payton - she's just waiting too long and can't hold it.

Michelle said...

I'm so glad you guys were able to get a night out to yourselves and be able to just talk about things!

I have some guilt going through the potty training w/Kayla too. It seemed like she had it and then there would be days she would just go in her pants and in frustrated me and I would get on her for it too...like "Kayla you KNOW you go potty in the bathroom, you KNOW you don't go in your pants" etc..and I would feel bad afterwards because I didn't know the reasons she would have those "accidents". Maybe she couldn't help it, and lack of being able to communicate well doesn't help matters!

Hope the dev. ped gives you some answers!