I don't know what is wrong with me, but I have been in a funk lately. I have been trying to 'go' a bit more with Payton. For instance, last week I decided I would take the kids to walmart with me. Bob had some much needed yard work to get done and I thought it would give him the opportunity to get it done without little hands trying to help. I still can't figure out why I can not take my child to walmart. I was humiliated - and still when I think about it I get really sick to my stomach. Note to self: Avoid the vaccuum cleaner aisle when with Payton at walmart. We were in the vaccuum aisle for over 20 minutes and when it was time to go - woah. I had a cart full of stuff and she screamed at the top of her lungs for a good ten minutes while I endured the awful glances of the other shoppers. Everytime I placed an item on the table to be checked out she would scream "NO! That's mine!" I still can't believe how ridiculous it was. That's when I feel I need a sign for she and I both to wear on our backs. Just be patient, she's special. Sadly, she and I both walked to the car in tears. (Koen didn't though - yeah!)
This past weekend we went to see Dora Live! Payton loved it - she watched it the entire time with her fingers in her ears (it was noisy!) but she LOVED every second of it. Intermission was tough on her - she cried/screamed thru the whole thing because she thought Dora had left for good. After that, I was concerned about the end of the show, but she did okay with the fact that Dora was off the stage and gone. Leaving the theater was a whole other story. Now that Payton's five and a half years old, it's tough dragging her out of places. She is one strong little girl and even at the zoo it's embarassing to try and carry (or drag) a thirty pound, long legged little girl out.
I feel numb and quite emotional at times. I love Payton so much and she literally brings such happiness and joy to our family but I am so ready for her to show some type of change in the area of meltdown and temper tantrums. I wish so badly she could handle change. Someone with older kiddos chime in here.....is she ever going to realize this behavior is completely inappropriate? Or does she already understand it but just can not control the behavior. She has us stumped....and again, flabbergasted because it is so obvious Koen 'gets it' when he is in trouble. I really want to be able to take her places and not be scared of how she's going to react.