Yesterday I was caught off guard when a co-worker of mine was discussing her youngest son going to preschool. Her son is a few months younger than Payton and she was telling me how she couldn't stand it because her son can only write part of his name - not all of it. She laughed and said "My first child went to preschool doing things every other preschooler is doing and my youngest is going to look like a retard". It's kinda funny, because she knows Payton has WS....and I can't help but think I would stop and think before saying that to someone whose child actually has a syndrome - and is delayed. (Actually - I wanted to tell her I would be thrilled if Payton could even draw an "a"!). She continued with her story and finished off with "I don't want my son to be a short bus driver...." and after that I trailed off thinking in my own mind how sad society is sometimes being so hard on individuals who can't do things as well as others. You know, I know I won't ever be 'thankful' that my daughter has ws - but I can say I'm thankful she's taught me so much about life. We don't take a single thing for granted anymore - and that's a gift she's given to us.
I told my mom this morning that instead of things getting easier it seems like it's getting tougher. I'm sure anxiety medicine will help us tremendously (by the way I rec'd all the paperwork for the developmental pediatrician yesterday in the mail and it made me even more excited to see him....I truly think he will help Payton and make sure we've also covered all the medical bases). On an almost daily basis now Payton seems to cry for about an hour or so after I pick her up and cries atleast an hour before she actually settles down in bed (then seems to obsess about things she is afraid of - the clock, moon, sheep, etc. for about and hour and a half). Life is exhausting right now and it's hard for me not to get hateful with her geneticist. Although we've decided Payton will not be seeing the geneticist again I would atleast like to send her a video of how my daughter is so out of control - completely unable to control her emotions. It's so sad to watch her go thru it - I just want her to be able to go outside, play, and be a kid. For now, Bob and I's hearts are heavy and ready to see our little girl relaxed and happy.