Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Awe and improvement

I handed you a chicken nugget in the car yesterday, Koen, and I sat in amazement as you were able to chew it, swallow it, and eat it right up. 18 months and you are already doing that! Yes, you've done that for quite some time, but I'm still in awe that I can actually hand you a Happy Meal and turn around and drive without fear that you will choke and gag on it. Payton was past three years old before I felt comfortable turning my back on her with food. Who knew this came so naturally to kiddos! Do you know what else amazes me? You understand the things that I say!! I point, you follow my finger and immediately know what I'm talking about. I didn't have to teach you and work with you on how to learn this, it just came naturally! I am in awe. I told your grandmother that I seriously think you are Einstein :)

This weekend the kids had the stomach flu. Payton had it on Friday night and then Koen ended up with it on Sunday. Thankfully it seemed to be a light case and only lasted about 12 hours - if even that. YAY! Other than that, our weekend went really well. I've been trying to fight back all the emotions with Payton lately. Seriously, life could be so so so much worse. It is so tough to see your child struggle though. Payton's stuttering seems to be getting worse. We try not to finish her sentences and just wait for her to try and complete her thought, but it can sometimes take minutes for her to say what she's trying to say. Her speech therapist is supposed to be getting back with me on what they are doing to work on it. It doesn't seem to bother her at all that she can't complete her thought, but I struggle with it. And I'm not even sure I should venture in the area of her behavior. The post would be forever and a day. Payton truly does know what is right and wrong, she is just so darn impulsive! I left the room for two seconds the other day just to take laundry to the laundry room - not start the washer, just take the laundry in there. Ofcourse when I left the room I told her to be nice to Koen and I would be right back. I hurried thinking she may attack Koen, but instead I came back to find a lot of missing keys from my laptop - she had decided to take them off. How she did it so quickly, I have no idea. Then on to the prolapse. I know the prolapse bothers her - I think it constantly makes her feel like she needs to go to the bathroom. So, now when she goes to the bathroom she tries to pull the prolapse out herself or poop in her hand. Mix this with frequently wetting her pants (or forgetting to pull down her pants when she goes to use the potty) and I feel like I'm in a tornado. I have to remind myself that yes, she is nearly five, but developmentally she's more like three - so I should expect this behavior. It's just exhausting, I guess. I told my mom the other day that the gap is getting bigger and after seeing my niece (who is three) sliding past her, it's just hard. Probably the hardest part for Bob and I is Payton's behavior. We almost feel like we've failed because she truly cannot control herself.......

I don't want this to be a whole vent session - because I am hearing and seeing improvements with Payton. Her teacher said she heard Payton walk up to a group of other children the other day and ask if she could play with them. I thought that was fantastic! She has also been taking major interest in the piano lately. Oddly enough it used to kill her ears - now she seems to want to play on it nonstop - and sing along while she plays. I'm loving this! And, last night she was alseep by nine. Now THAT is a blessing!

This morning I took you and your friend, Tarin, to preschool, Payton. As we pulled out of the driveway you turned around and looked at Tarin and said "Let's say bad words!" and then you just giggled! My stomach immediately dropped and I thought 'oh my word, what are you going to say'. As I was getting ready to tell you no, you said "POOOOOOP" and you both just laughed your heads off. Giggling with your friends. It really can't get any better than that, Payton :)

7 comments:

Heather said...

It is amazing witnessing the differences between the babies. I had a quick learner first and last. I truly forgot what it was supposed to be like after Caleb. Laurel seemed like a complete angel after him. It was really amazing. I still don't trust Caleb with food without me watching. Too many choking incidences. Only two, but two too many. I still have to remind him to not stuff, and chew,chew,chew. Please swallow what you have in your mouth already before you take another bite. Sometimes I just can't watch because I know he will be fine, but really his skills are so bad. I'm really paranoid.
LOL! That last paragraph is really funny. :) She is so like Caleb.. I just love her to pieces.

Nancy said...

Why did this post make me laugh out loud and then cry over and over? I guess I understand a lot of what you are going through and anticipate the rest. If I have your attitude, I'll get through it.

I wish the worst word I said was "poop," but now that I think about it, that word is almost as satisfying. :)

Hang in there, girlie. You are doing great.

Julie said...

I think that was so heart breaking for me, comparing him to the girls at that age. It was almost devastating. Scott's son did the same thing with computer keys. Hey it shows great fine motor skills.:) Hang in there.

Tara said...

Nice Point Julie! Hadn't thought about the fine motor skills :)

Cynthia said...

I love the letters to your children. I have the same thoughts about my daughter as you do of your son. Pure amazement at the effortless advancement . My perspective is slanted on this, and I truly think she is brilliant. I haven't written much about this, because my feelings are so mixed. It hurts to see her pass her big brother in so many ways and yet I am so proud of her.

How lucky to have such a short flu, and to know that "poop" is such a bad word. LOL!

Ava Jewel Leilani said...

Fine motor skills,that's a good one, now aren't you super proud of how good and quick she is at that ;) As I was reading my post I kept repeating to myself wondering how you do it but then I got to the end of your post and was cracking up. Hang in there, your doing an amazing job!
Anna

Michelle said...

Joe was just saying to me the other day, after watching Lucas pull himself up on our bed, that he was remembering how we had to teach Kayla that because she just didn't seem to want to use her arm muscles for anything...and things seem to come so easily for Lucas. I know it'll be hard when he does start "passing her up"