Awe and improvement

I handed you a chicken nugget in the car yesterday, Koen, and I sat in amazement as you were able to chew it, swallow it, and eat it right up. 18 months and you are already doing that! Yes, you've done that for quite some time, but I'm still in awe that I can actually hand you a Happy Meal and turn around and drive without fear that you will choke and gag on it. Payton was past three years old before I felt comfortable turning my back on her with food. Who knew this came so naturally to kiddos! Do you know what else amazes me? You understand the things that I say!! I point, you follow my finger and immediately know what I'm talking about. I didn't have to teach you and work with you on how to learn this, it just came naturally! I am in awe. I told your grandmother that I seriously think you are Einstein :)

This weekend the kids had the stomach flu. Payton had it on Friday night and then Koen ended up with it on Sunday. Thankfully it seemed to be a light case and only lasted about 12 hours - if even that. YAY! Other than that, our weekend went really well. I've been trying to fight back all the emotions with Payton lately. Seriously, life could be so so so much worse. It is so tough to see your child struggle though. Payton's stuttering seems to be getting worse. We try not to finish her sentences and just wait for her to try and complete her thought, but it can sometimes take minutes for her to say what she's trying to say. Her speech therapist is supposed to be getting back with me on what they are doing to work on it. It doesn't seem to bother her at all that she can't complete her thought, but I struggle with it. And I'm not even sure I should venture in the area of her behavior. The post would be forever and a day. Payton truly does know what is right and wrong, she is just so darn impulsive! I left the room for two seconds the other day just to take laundry to the laundry room - not start the washer, just take the laundry in there. Ofcourse when I left the room I told her to be nice to Koen and I would be right back. I hurried thinking she may attack Koen, but instead I came back to find a lot of missing keys from my laptop - she had decided to take them off. How she did it so quickly, I have no idea. Then on to the prolapse. I know the prolapse bothers her - I think it constantly makes her feel like she needs to go to the bathroom. So, now when she goes to the bathroom she tries to pull the prolapse out herself or poop in her hand. Mix this with frequently wetting her pants (or forgetting to pull down her pants when she goes to use the potty) and I feel like I'm in a tornado. I have to remind myself that yes, she is nearly five, but developmentally she's more like three - so I should expect this behavior. It's just exhausting, I guess. I told my mom the other day that the gap is getting bigger and after seeing my niece (who is three) sliding past her, it's just hard. Probably the hardest part for Bob and I is Payton's behavior. We almost feel like we've failed because she truly cannot control herself.......

I don't want this to be a whole vent session - because I am hearing and seeing improvements with Payton. Her teacher said she heard Payton walk up to a group of other children the other day and ask if she could play with them. I thought that was fantastic! She has also been taking major interest in the piano lately. Oddly enough it used to kill her ears - now she seems to want to play on it nonstop - and sing along while she plays. I'm loving this! And, last night she was alseep by nine. Now THAT is a blessing!

This morning I took you and your friend, Tarin, to preschool, Payton. As we pulled out of the driveway you turned around and looked at Tarin and said "Let's say bad words!" and then you just giggled! My stomach immediately dropped and I thought 'oh my word, what are you going to say'. As I was getting ready to tell you no, you said "POOOOOOP" and you both just laughed your heads off. Giggling with your friends. It really can't get any better than that, Payton :)