This week my sitter is on vacation so we've been taking turns being off with the kids. It's been a trying week for Payton - her routine is different - but she absolutely loves being at home all day. She has been extremely emotional and aggressive, but in between those times she amazes me. For instance at lunch today our conversation went like this:
Payton: Mommy, you're my friend.
Me: Payton, you're my friend, too.
Payton: Mommy, you just melt my heart.
Oh, if she only knew what she did to my heart. Her smile melts my heart. Actually, everything about her melts my heart. However, watching her aggression, anxiety, and emotion brings me to my knees. My sister was at the house yesterday when Payton lost it. She called me later and was saying how she couldn't stop thinking about Koen. How sad it is that right now he is too young to understand that Payton struggles in areas (when she gets emotional and angry, she screams at the top of her lungs and unfortunately unleashes terror on him and me - or anyone within arm's length). Anyways, she said some day he will know how much she loves him. And, he will. I feel so blessed to have a little boy like Koen. The road has been completely different with him and it's wonderful getting to experience it. I don't think I could ever kiss those chubby little cheeks enough.