Yesterday we met with Payton's kindergarten teacher and special ed teacher. They gave her a tour of the building and let her see the classrooms....and she seems more than excited about going to school. I know in my heart she's ready to go, but still get so nervous and sick to my stomach when I think about it. I know so many are going to think this is the silliest statement, but I know I would feel more comfortable sending Koen off to school than Payton. There is such a difference....I know Koen can fend for himself and figure things out. Payton did fine in preschool and the amazing thing was, children could already tell she couldn't do everything they could, so they helped her. I know that's what will happen in kindergarten as well. But, she's my baby, and it scares me.
And, I know Payton doesn't understand yet....but the gap is getting wider. It's so hard to see her around other kindergartners......and it really does hurt to know that the heartaches I feel with all of this will never really go away. I have really excellent days/weeks and then for some reason have a difficult time. The past few weeks have been the latter. I'm sure it's just the stress of the school year beginning - worrying about her blood pressure, anxiety, prolapse, all the 'what ifs'. But, worrying doesn't solve any of it. Like Bob said, all we can do is pray for her. One more week and I'll be able to post how it goes!