Yesterday we met with Payton's kindergarten teacher and special ed teacher. They gave her a tour of the building and let her see the classrooms....and she seems more than excited about going to school. I know in my heart she's ready to go, but still get so nervous and sick to my stomach when I think about it. I know so many are going to think this is the silliest statement, but I know I would feel more comfortable sending Koen off to school than Payton. There is such a difference....I know Koen can fend for himself and figure things out. Payton did fine in preschool and the amazing thing was, children could already tell she couldn't do everything they could, so they helped her. I know that's what will happen in kindergarten as well. But, she's my baby, and it scares me.
And, I know Payton doesn't understand yet....but the gap is getting wider. It's so hard to see her around other kindergartners......and it really does hurt to know that the heartaches I feel with all of this will never really go away. I have really excellent days/weeks and then for some reason have a difficult time. The past few weeks have been the latter. I'm sure it's just the stress of the school year beginning - worrying about her blood pressure, anxiety, prolapse, all the 'what ifs'. But, worrying doesn't solve any of it. Like Bob said, all we can do is pray for her. One more week and I'll be able to post how it goes!
3 comments:
Stay strong she will amaze you, give her a chance.
I'm sure she will be fine. Payton is pretty good at taking care of things herself :) may not always be the way everyone else would do it but she'll get it done!
We need to get a date to get together...let me know when you are free because Abi keeps asking when she gets to see her friend Payton!
Tara,
I totally understand!! Last year when Ari went to K. I spent the days pacing and wringing my hands and praying waiting for her to get home and it lasted for months! I followed the school bus to school in stealth mode on more than one occasion to make sure she made it there without rolling down the aisle and crying. It was fine..I was the problem not her. I will keep you in my prayers and Payton as well. I am sure you with both pull through with flying colors : )
xoxox
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