Friday, February 1, 2008

Not Alone

One thing I enjoy about blogging is hearing input from other moms of children with ws. They give me very good advice and I also realize how similar these children are to each other. This morning I was reading Nancy's blog about her son, Erik and my heart just ached for her. I immediately called Bob and told him he needed to read Nancy's blog because he just wouldn't believe the similarities.

Last night seemed to be about the same as the rest of the week. My father called and asked if we'd like to come out to dinner and I thought it would be a nice change for Payton - she could see a couple of her cousins and get to play with them a bit. My mom was aware of the week we had thus far and was hopeful being in a different place would help her have a better evening. Unfortunately she seemed to wreck havoc on everyone at her grandma's house as well. It really is hard not to feel sorry for her. She threw things, hit basically everyone there (if you walked by her or if she walked by you, you were apt to get swung at), and threw her fits. Then, as usual, wet her pants. Looking at her, I see a child frustrated and anxious. Anymore, I come to work and sit and worry about how she's doing. If I wasn't the one who carried the insurance I would quit my job and stay at home. The guilt I feel for not doing it is almost unbearable - but the fact is, with all medical problems associated with ws we have to have insurance for her or we'd be flat broke.

For any of my family and friends interested in reading Nancy's post, just click here. Thank you, Nancy, for being so open and honest in your post.


Nancy said...

Tara, thank you for letting me know I'm not a few fries short of a Happy Meal. I feel that way a lot and am almost hungover from letting stuff out like I did because I know not everybody really understands and thinks I have given up. I don't want to make anybody feel worse. I just want to feel better, and telling the truth seems to help sometimes.

I haven't given up. Thanks for being such a great resource.

camille said...

Hey Tara,
I just had a random thought. I was looking at Payton's picture in her car seat and wondered if she might like a miracle belt or vest? i posted about a miracle belt a long time ago and Connor just didn't like it, but it's the same idea as the weighted blanket except she would wear it. I don't know if that would be calming to her or not. Just an idea. If you're interested you can just google it and a whole bunch of websites pop up.
Hope you have a better weekend. Thinking of you :)

Michelle, Tim, Aidan & Ari said...

So glad we are all there for eachother...who else would/could really understand the jekel/hyde children we live with. I am so blessed to "know" you and all the other WS mommies out there!

Whitney said...

Don't feel guilty (I know that it's easier typed than done) Your a great and strong mom! And it probably helps having a job and having some time for yourself even if it's while at work more than you think. It makes you a better mom to have that time I'm sure. I hope the anxious "tornado" has calm season soon. Your in my thoughts hoping you the best during this time.

Heather said...

Tara, Caleb has medicade. In our state at least, it isn't based on income. If your child has a disability, they can get medicade. I know that wouldn't help the rest of your family. I just wanted to mention it though. I just quit work in September. I just wasn't strong enough to deal with special needs kids all day at school, and then come home and deal with mine. It wasn't fair to any of us. Hope Payton feels better soon. It must be something in the air. We are all having issues right now. Maybe it's the Winter blues/cabin fever combonation? They need to get out and get some sun and fresh air. ?????