Yesterday was Payton's appointment with nephrology. Just thinking about it makes me get tensed up. Just the sight of a blood pressure cuff scares her to death. I really don't think it's the noise - manual or electronic. She's in the room when I take mine or even when I've taken Koen's to show her it doesn't hurt. Anyways, to make a long story short they were unable to get a BP on her. They've never gotten a BP on her. I've never been concerned about it before, but the past three weeks have been awful. She's been complaining of headaches, she's actually been sleeping (even going to bed at 7pm), and she has been a mess. Crying, temperamental, explosive, etc. Bob mentioned last night that it feels like we've gone backwards about a year (before we started the celexa). I've upped the dosage to see if she had grown enough that we needed an increase, but it didn't change a thing. It's not that you 'forget' what it's like when your life is so stressful dealing with a child who is so extremely explosive, angry, and abusive....I guess you just push it as far back in your mind as possible. Well, here we are again, and it feels just plain awful.
Next Tuesday she goes back to KC to have an ultrasound done on her kidneys, check her renal arteries, etc. She'll fight it, but she'll do okay - they'll atleast be able to get it done. They told me to try to take her BP while she's asleep - but I don't know that they understand the sensory issues she has with the cuff being around her arm or leg (she doesn't really like bracelets or anything around her wrists, you can always tell it really bothers her). Payton really caught the nurses and the doctor off guard by how upset and agitated she was. And, the trip on the way home was ofcourse full of hits, yells, aggravation. Which, is another concern of mine. How in the world do I teach my two year old son that this behavior he is seeing from his sister is not appropriate and is not acceptable from him? He sees Payton getting in trouble for it - but when she's aggressive, he becomes a different little guy too. I don't want my house to feel that way - for my family or for guests. I'm starting to feel 'stuck' again and I don't want it to be like this. I'd love it if the docs were able to give us some answers (if it is her BP giving her problems) but for now, if she won't cooperate, it's hard to know. I really really just want to see her back to the way she was a few months ago.